Ten deranged teenagers, one summer camp. What could possibly go wrong? EVERYTHING, as it's being hosted by Chris McLean! We're returning for the all new fifth season of Total Drama! Alliances, friendships, conflicts, and of course, DRAMA! Stay tuned to see things blow up, people throw up and watch everyone totally suck!
- Dawson - The Spiritual Stoner
- Farnfield - The Creepy Loner
- Jeremy - The Gullible Guy
- Macy - The Fad Follower
- Marlton - The Self Proclaimed Genius
- Natalia - The Optimistic Twin
- Natalie - The Pessimistic Twin
- Penelope - The Hottest Girl Ever
- Trixie - The Gothic Gamer
- Tyrone - The Athletic Guy
Chapter One: Deranged, Dynamic Duos!Edit
"Season five of Total Drama, folks!" Chris McLean, smiling at the camera, stood at the dock of Camp Wawanakwa, officially recording the first episode of the seaon, said. "Forget your All Stars, it's time for some brand new deranged dramatic dumb teenagers to compete all out for the million dollars!"
"Uh, Chris..." Chef Hatchet, the show's personal cook and Chris McLean's assistant whispered to him. "What do we do with these all staring losers who thought they were returning this season?"
Chris McLean sighed, and then glared furiously at Chef. "Get rid of them, couldn't you have told me this earlier? I'm trying to host a show here, sheesh! Take them to the Isle of Losers!" Chris remained calm, and looked back at the camera. "Alright viewers, it's time to meet the contestants!"
A young man with a white buttoned up shirt, brown pants and glasses, who looked like your typical nerd, arrived at the dock. He smiled, and shook Chris McLean's hand. "It's an honour to have made mutual acquaintanceship with you, McLean."
"This here is Marlton, a self proclaimed genius. He thinks he's smart because of his extended vocabulary, but really is a stupid, delusional teenager, like the rest!" Chris replied, and pulled back his hand. "Now get out of my sight and stand on the other side of the dock.
Marlton said, "Chris McLean, that's an awfully unwelcoming way to introduce a guest. Maybe that explains why no female's have any attraction towards you."
Chris shot daggers with his eyes, "Don't be crossing those borders! Anyway, our next contestants is Dawson!" A kid with a beanie, sweater and baggy pants arrived on the dock, holding his bong. "He looks like he's dressed for winter..."
"Whoa man, it's so cool to be here, like yeah..." Dawson folded his bong into a coffee traveler cup, as the breeze blew through his short blonde hair. "Now let's meditate, and listen to the spirits..."
"By spirits do you mean ghosts, or alcohol? Because there are no drugs or booze allowed! Otherwise, the council will be all over my ass!" Chris questioned, as Chef walked over to Dawson, and stripped him of liquor, weed and his mini ouija board.
Two females arrived at the dock this time, both looking similar, had the same hair, eye colour, but their clothes were slighty different. "Ah, Natalia and Natalie. Both look alike, but their personalities are totally opposite, literally!" Chris remarked.
"OMG! It is so amazing to be here! Even if I don't win, I'm still happy to be here, and I would've tried my best!" Natalie cheered, much to her older sister's dismay.
Natalia sighed, and rubbed her eyes. "There was no point in competing, we're going to lose anyway..."
"Natalia! What have I told you about being so pessimistic, it's not nice, and people don't like that! Can't you be happy about something? I mean, we're on TV!" Her sister nudged her, excited about being on television.
"Is it really that much of a big deal, you can't change who I am, and that's that... Besides, you're way to optimistic and cheerful. It bugs me, little sis." Natalia replied, and walked to the other side of the dock with the two boys.
Chris silenced them. "Alright, shut up! Here's our next contestant! He's athletic, friendly, and possibly the only normal person on this show... But you'll find his flaws eventually...dawgs."
An African American teenager with a basketball shirt with the number 9 on it, and shorts arrived. "Yo what's up dawg?" He fi-fived Chris. "It's great to be here man!"
"Well, despite the fact that my older brother is suffering from extreme health issues after being a hundred pounds overweight, and he must stop eating fried chicken so much which is giving him mental breakdowns, my mother almost dying from breast cancer three times, my father going through chemotherapy and worst of all, my sister being the most illiterate idiot on FaceFact. I mean, seriously? It's 'You', not 'U'! Has anyone ever heard of grammar and puncuation? I'm afraid not on social networking sites. But overall, I'm fine." Marlton quickly replied, leaving everyone shocked.
"Whoa.. I'm sorry dawg." Tyrone comforted him, and pat him on the back.
Marlton stood there, puzzled. "Why apologize, you did nothing wrong as of yet being here."
"Alright campers..." Chris begun as the next contestant arrived. "Macy here! She's one of those stupid little girl's who follow all those fads and listen to Dustin Beaver, One Location, Bonus Brothers, and all that other trashy music."
"You don't know you're pretty-ful..." Macy stopped singing, and pulled out her ear plugs. "Oh hi guys, it's great to be here. Gotta update my FaceFact status, like brb guizeeee!" Macy begun typing on her phone.
"Seriously, One Location is a terrible, terrible band..." Dawson, Marlton and Tyrone said in unison, and rolled their eyes.
Macy stopped texting, and smashed her Ephone 5 on the ground, as it shattered into pieces. "You'll pay!!!!" She roundhouse kicked Marlton off the dock into the water, pulled Dawson's arm, punched him in the jaw, and then dropped him on the ground, and then karate chopped Tyrone's head.
Chris chuckled. "Fiesty, I love it!"
"Oh my gosh!" Natalie squealed. "Why would you do that, Macy? Be happy you're on the show, not go nuts!" D:
Natalia rolled her eyes, "Calm down little sis, just don't even bother. We can't undo her actions, even though she's a crazy cow. Moo."
"You wanna go there too? I bet you think the Bonus Brother's are fugly! You do? YOU'RE LIFE IS OVER!" Macy held out her fist, and dashed over to Natalia, but before she could through her punch, Chef restrained her.
McLean cracked up, "I love this new cast... our next contestant is a creepy loner, and also a perv. That's pretty much it..."
Farnfield arrived on the dock, disgusting everyone. His clothes smelled like old mouldy food, his face showed a creepy expression and he had plenty of pimpled. "Hey guys... Oh, so the silent treatment? I'm cool with that."
He pulled out is Console Station Portable, and begun playing a game. All the others could here were girls moaning, and laughing.
"I'm sorry, but what the hell are you playing, you perv?" Macy rolled her eyes.
"Oh, this?" Farnfield turned it around, and it showed girl's in skimpy bikini's running alone the beach, trying to hit the volleyball over the net. "It's just a volleyball simulator... with girls... beaches... bikinis... breast game physics..."
"Seriously man. That's messed up." Tyrone told him, then suggested, "Why don't you just try to get a real girlfriend? If you just cleaned up yourself, and acted friendly, you could watch her in a skimpy bikini."
Dawson put his thumb up, "Words of wisdom, man... words of wisdom. The spirits here agree with ya."
"Freakshows, but anyway, our next competitor is... Trixie!!!" Chris announced the next competitor. The gothic girl holding a Nintendar 3DD arrived, glaring at everyone. "So, what's up gothy?"
Trixie rolled her eyes, and resumed playing The Legend of Link. Farnfield looked at her, and had a huge grin on his face, "Haha! Your name is Trixie? From My Little Horsey? HAHAHAHA! That's so cool!"
"No, I'm not off some stupid little girly girl show." Trixie pushed him out of the way. "Just leave me alone!"
"F****** freakshows these people are, right McLean?" Macy insulted the cast.
Chris chuckled, and said, "When I said freakshow, I was reffering to you too. I mean, if you like those stupid singers, then you are a terrible teenager. Well, all teenagers are. Except for when I was one." Everyone laughed. "Whatever then, idiots."
The last male contestant arrived on the dock, smiling. "Hey guys, my name's Jeremy. It's great to be here."
"He seems normal right, everyone?" Chris said to the camera, winking. "But Jeremy, really, really is gullible, just watch this. Hey Jeremy, did you know that hot girls come from heaven, and ugly ones, like your mother, come from hell?"
Jeremy was shocked, "Whoa no way man, that can't be true." Jeremy was about to believe it, when he remembered, "Wait, what about my mother?"
"It's true. My name's McLean, would I ever lie to you?" Chris giggled, replying.
"I guess so," Jeremy shrugged. "Maybe that's why Trixie FaceFact page says she was born in hell..."
"BURN!" Macy, Tyrone, Dawson and Chris said in unison, and then a slap and a scream was heard. Trixie slapped Jeremy again, and continued playing her game.
"Well, saying that exceptionally attractive women come from this supposive Heaven, and that relatively unnattractive-" Marlton begun, but was hushed by Chris, as the final contestant arrived.
A beautiful brunnete girl, with blue eyes, a nicely curved, skimpy clothing and a wink on her face arrived, stunning all the men. "Hey boys, I'm not being nice this time."
"Whoa... you're even hotter than the girls on my game. Sorry Lei-Fang and Kasumi." Farnfield put his portable console back into his pocket, and admired the girl's bust, like the other's.
"Come on guys, stop being pigs!" Natalie suggested, but they were all stunned by Penelope's beauty.
Natalia replied, "Little sis, all men are pigs, there's never going to be a good one, that's why I never have a boyfriend..."
"Maybe if you didn't have a pessimistic attitude, you'd find the right guy," Natalie replied, and stroked her sister's cheek.
Chris stood up, coughed, and begun speaking. "Alright, now that we've got everyone introduced, it's time to get into pairs for our first challenge, which will determine the teams! Now you have thirty seconds to pair up, or I pair up for you!"
Natalie and Natalia instantly matched up, as they were twins. All the guys tried to pair up with Penelope, only to get shot down. Dawson walked over to Marlton, "Dude, you're smart, wanna team up?" Marlton nodded, which made the second duo.
Macy pulled Jeremy, "You're kinda cute, yet dumb, so we're a pair! I don't care what you say, or I'll give you bruises. We can listening to Dustin Biever together!"
Jeremy rolled his eyes, and agreed to be with her. "Fine, but don't put it up too loud. My brother always said if it's too loud, it can set off all the world's nukes."
Time was almost up, and still, Penelope, Trixie, Tyrone and Farnfield still hadn't sorted themselves into teams. "Well, Penelope is refusing to be with anyone, and Farnfield is a creep, I guess I'll go with Trixie." Tyrone said, and made his way over to her.
"Times up! So, it seems everyone's a pair, with the exception of Farnfield and Penelope... and you know what that means! The creep and the beach are teaming up to make our final team!" Chris announced.
Penelope protested, "But Chris, I can't be paired up with this sick, twisted pervert!"
"I really don't care. Now, team's must race through the other side of the forest to Chef's finish line. But to make it even more of a challenge, one contestant will give a piggy back ride to their partner, and watch out for the deadly wildlife... No matter how hard Chef tried, those radioactive menaces would not leave." Chris rung the horn. "GO!"